Eggs Look Like:

In trouble again this morning. Seems like you can"t compare what you cough up in the morning to any of your wife's cooking past or present. "Honey (pleading forgiveness tone), I didn't mean the eggs you cooked THIS morning." Somehow this concilitory statement just added fuel to the fire. Good rule to follow!!! Once you make a mistake and your wife catches you don't try to explain it away. Just comit yourself to the doomed class and hope she will forget in ten to twelve centuries.

Clean Out the Garage, Or Else!

You know it isn't too smart to ask what the (or else) is before you make a decision. Somehow this simple request for information to be used in making a decision can be mis-construed as a unwillingness to do the requested task. It seems as if you really do not have a choice when the (or else) clause is pronounced. To avoid any misunderstanding, when the (or else) clause is pronounced by your wife you should always be answer by saying the (Yes Dear) clause as sincerely as possible. Although this commits you to do the task, no time frame has been dicussed and possibly, if you are really good, you can delay doing it for a few more weeks. "Oh you ment this year". At least you have a shot.

Questions???

What does it mean when your wife asks if your insurance is paid up?

Is a man out in the woods alone talking still wrong?

Why are the words "Oh NO" the first thing your wife says when you tell her about a new short cut you are taking?

Why doesn't geen spaghetti and blue eggs go together?

Why is it when you are finnally talked into cooking your wife expects you to clean up the kitchen also?

Statement of FACT: Dirty socks DO belong on the floor.

Another statement of fact: You will too explode if you don't let gas and beltch in public.

Why do old men wear saggy pants? Think about it all things are affected by gravity.

Economics 101: or Pay the Bill Dummy

Strange thing, just because you forget to pay a bill for a month or two because of a bad memory, some companies get a little huffy. Couldn't figure why we couldn't get on the internet when we got back from a prolonged trip. It seems they(You know "THEY"), prefer to get paid and not provide free service. Strange way to do business, Huh? Anyway all is taken care of after vowing something about first born.